MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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