Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just high enough for therapy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
