batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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