New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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