im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
