we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
did i walk over a car last night?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
