I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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