What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
