We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The power of my boobs compel you
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
