Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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