Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize