But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
