For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
barbara walters just said penis...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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