my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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