I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
