Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
