you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
