Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
