Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
