she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
