her vagine was all disorganized.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Randomize