hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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