But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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