Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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