school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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