I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
