Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
