you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
