38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
