I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
