Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
