TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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