we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
