i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
