I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
