Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
