I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
