that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
