thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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