it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
