If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
