Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
