You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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