oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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