sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
