Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
