We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
