Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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