i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
