he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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