i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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