Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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