I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
