Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize