just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
