atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
