I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
