you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize