i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
