Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
