is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
