the day after is always just damage control
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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