Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
