you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
