Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
